Tarot Reading: Self Exploration – Depise

Spread:
Diggin’ Deeper Self Exploration
  [B]
[5] [6]
[7] [8]

Alterations/Notes:
In this spread, you need two decks. One that you love the other you “despise”. I only have one deck to date, so I only did the love spread this time. While shuffling, I just thought despise, like a mantra.
Now as I’m typing this, the spread is stating to pick two cards from the entire deck that you love and hate, not two separate decks.
So I just shuffled and cut like a normal spread, even the B card. Which is even more crazy, because of how accurate it is.

 

Findings:

[B] The card you despise – The Empress
The Empress is femininity, beauty, sensuality, fertility. This card encourages the connect with others.
This card doesn’t a whole lot of sense to me in despise. I feel like I embody femininity, beauty, sensuality. Perhaps, it may mean to encourage me to connect with other people and allow people into my life. Be more motherly and nurturing.

[5]  What aspect of myself does this represent? – The Fool reversed
The Fool reversed is a card showing being a fool, taking risks, and being reckless. One thing it points out you might be wanting to release yourself from normal routine to “find yourself” but disregarding everyone else.
I’m not necessarily reckless, but I think it’s becoming not so selfish. Lately, I have been selfish and been more inverted. I’m trying to find myself and work mostly on myself. And going back to the Empress, it’s being nurturing and encouraging being around others.

[6] How do I feel about this part of myself? – Queen of Cups reversed
The reversed Queen of Cups is a sign of emotional insecurity and co-dependency on others. It can show a person having mood swings that makes it difficult for other to be around. Also, it shows angst and self loathing for not being able to do more with your talent.
Not so much on the co-dependency, but I’ve been emotionally unstable this entire year so far. One thing after another has made me break. As well, I’m wanting to do more with the talents I have because I’m not feeling fulfilled at work.

[7] What role does this part of myself play in my life right now? – The World
The World card is a cycle of success, accomplishment, traveling. It also signifies being at the end of a cycle and seeing a part of your life go from the beginning to the end, while understanding that process.
I think this card is letting me know that I’ve had some great times and it’s at the end of it. And I have to treasure what has happened. It’ll never be the same again, but it’s time to start again.

[8] If these two cards could talk, what would this card say to the other card? – The Tower reversed
Avoiding and not wanting change is what this card means.
I’m definitely terrified of starting again. And starting new chapters in life means that change is going to happen. And I can honestly say, I’m terrified.

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