Dreams

I keep having dreams of my grandpa.

The first time I had a dream with him in it after he passed away was around my birthday.
In my dream my grandma and the rest of the family (my parents, my uncles, aunts and cousins) were on a big river boat in Europe. (This riverboat in Europe stemming from a real conversation I had with my parents and my grandma wanting to do it with her friends) So we were on this boat. I remember vividly taking pictures of the sights and putting them on Instagram. My grandma then wanted to steer and drive the huge boat. Well, she increased the speed, and we were heading towards a mountain. The locals/original captain on the boat was screaming at her to slow down, and she didn’t. She took a right and it was so fast that everything in the boat shifted. Once everything in the boat was settled and the boat was at a stop, I went up to see my grandma and pretty much ready to bitch at her. I get up to where the cabin is, I see my grandma just looking in shock and there was a passenger seat that was faced away. I grabbed the seat by the headrest and turned it. It was my grandpa. And immediately everything, the scenery, my grandma, everything when white except my grandpa. He smiled and I just yelled at him. “Come back to us! We miss you! I didn’t get to say goodbye!” His smile disappeared and sadness grew on his face. And I kept screaming that over and over again. He never said a word. And I woke up hysterically crying.

To be honest, I’m crying right now typing this reliving this dream. It was so vivid and real.

I’m a very spiritual person. I believe that loved ones visit in ways they can. It was probably a month after he passed away when I saw him in my dream. And My belief he somehow knew I was dreaming about the entire family and wanted to make an appearance to just say that he’s OK. But I think he didn’t know how to do what he did and just winged it, like in life. And he didn’t expect me to somewhat lucid dream out of it.

The dream I had last night was at a fast food restaurant. My dad, my mom, my aunts (on my dad’s side) were all there. (Side note, the only grandpa I’m talking about is the one on my mom’s side.) My dad and I were eating and my aunt came up and said “I think you need more ketchup” and she squirt some on my plate, and then squirt some on my dad’s lap. My dad, understandably, got super upset and yelled at her. I called my grandpa afterwards, but he was in my mom’s car on a blue tooth (unbeknownst to me) and I just start ripping on my aunts and how stupid the one that did that to my dad. All my aunts were in the car. And my grandpa says “Well, I’m going to take you off speaker phone” and so I immediately get super embarrassed. He gets back on the phone and just starts ripping into them in front of them on the phone with me. My grandpa entered my dream to talk shit. It was incredible.

I think about death and what comes after it, if anything. I just hope with these dreams there is something. There has to be something. Seriously, though. I’ve had certain things that have happened to me that I can’t explain.

Who the hell am I going to haunt if there isn’t anything?

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