Half of the Morning

So a little bit about the name of this blog…
Laughing Coats
I love to laugh and make others laugh and Coats is a nickname for my dog Kota.

This blog was going to be named Morning Coats and Jeans.
This was because of my cats Alice and Marley (AM), my dog Kota, and an abbreviation/nickname of my name.
It ended up feeling far too classy… not enough silliness and weirdness that I feel my life is like. It sounds like listening to Enya while sipping jasmine tea, with the morning sunshine glowing as I’m reading “What is the Meaning to Life”.

This past weekend I went out of town, like I’ve done a million times. I’ve come back to cat puke all over my house. Not only is it vomit, it has come to my attention it is cat piss as well. And the only one that always has issues is Alice.

Alice is the reason I can’t have rugs in any bathroom, because she has decided in the past that those are her personal litter box. Alice, along with the rest of the pets as I jokingly put it, are the reason I can’t have nice things.

So Alice is 8 years old. Not terribly old in cat years, but she is overweight and has looked a lot more crotchety the past couple months. And this is the first time I’ve ever had a glimmer to think about putting my cat down. Of course, before you burn my house down and say I’m a terrible person, I’m not putting my cat down. She might have had an episode and is feeling better. I’m keeping an eye on her and will decide in a week or two (depending if it gets worse quickly) if I will need to take her to the vet.

Mind you, this cat is an asshole. This cat hates everyone and everything. But she loves me, sometimes. But this cat is one of the last remaining keys to my old existence. Even though I say it’s an ass, or that I dislike her, or whatever, it’s all an act. I love this fucking cat and I’m tearing up just thinking about having to do anything with her.

My mind went wild at lunch when I found yet another spot where she peed making me think something is seriously wrong. And half a hour ago I found another vomit spot. So my mind is in a frenzy and I’ve been tearing up. She’s actually right by my face as I’m typing. I’m hoping because of her assholeness she’s doing this on purpose to make me feel bad for her. I know it’s not logical, but hey, it means that she’s not feeling bad.

But if or when the time comes, I don’t want to take her to the vet. I don’t want her sad, mad or anything. Although knowing this cat that would be impossible. So my google searches have been pretty, what’s the word… morbid. How to euthanize your cat DIY. Or in a round about way HOW TO KILL YOUR CAT. And from the boards I’ve been to the most humane way is either going to the vet or shooting your cat in the back of the head. Um, yeah. But my dad has offered to take her to the vet when or if the time comes. But you see she doesn’t like him. She doesn’t like anyone but me. And I just would feel awful if her last thought on this world was not with me. Having her be scared, terrified, mad. I just can’t.

So I’m just hoping everything goes well. I’m just hoping that she got into something that made her sick and she’s feeling better. It just makes me sick in the stomach.

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