Loss

For some reason, I can’t shake crushes or past dates. I’m not sure if everyone feels this way, but for some reason, it follows me. Or I should rather say they follow me.

Crushes and guys that like me seem to linger for years. Most guys had a chance, and I’m not saying a small unattainable chance… but I am an equal opportunist. My type for guys are interesting. If you are interesting and/or intriguing to me, I’m for seeing what can happen. And honestly I’ve dated an array of different guys, of all shapes and sizes. But the one thing that attracted me the most is their uniqueness and their quirks. I get very intrigued by that.

For the most part in dating, I get discounted. Whether I’m found as being too boring, or friend zoned, or just not being the right one. And the guys that showed interest go onto to another beautiful lady. Whether they get into a relationship or not, it seems like most of them come back into my life. They sit in the shadows and randomly will come back into my life.

I’ve learned the hard way, due to my only serious relationship, that when they come back is to not welcome them back. This is only if there are still feelings or deep feelings for that person. Granted, that doesn’t mean be a bitch, but it means, you lost me. You have no chance with me. I’d rather be alone than with someone that didn’t want me.

I’ve gotten texts from guys just saying how much they miss me. How they couldn’t imagine their life without me. Blah blah blah blah. And my response is usually “That’s nice”. But my mind is saying “Of course. I’m fucking amazing.”

And if we stop doubting ourselves and stop being fearful of being alone, we could actually stop this behavior. The reason certain actions keep happening is because by past experience someone let them back in. Again, I’m guilty of doing that. I let my ex back into my life for years. YEARS. But if we were to look at ourselves after some guy left and say, “Hey, that wasn’t cool.” or “He’s meant to be with that girl and not me” instead of beating ourselves up, then welcoming back assholes into our lives with open arms, could you imagine how incredible our lives would be? Could you imagine who you could come into your life to treat you like the Goddess you are?

Don’t let the past back into your romantic space. If they want to be friends, first honestly ask yourself “Will I be cool if this person was only my friend?” If you are good with it, then be friends with them. If you aren’t cool with being friends (I’m one to not be friends with ex boyfriends and usually anyone I date…), or in the back of your mind you are already warping it into a romantic relationship, then it’s best to leave them behind.

I say, let them gravel. Let them desire you. Let them see what they missed out. Let them kick themselves for not choosing you. ‘Cause guess what? You’re fucking amazing.

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