“I don’t know…I’m not convinced. You could be one of those sexual deviants that Mildred and I keep hearing about on Dateline. Being super adorbs aside, how am I to know that you aren’t actually an inmate named Herb, catfishing, perhaps seeking a same-sex conjugal visit?
Gasp! You could even be a drifter named Cheech looking to snap the straps on my suspenders and steal my stamp collection!
No no no no no. This definitely will not work out.”