This past weekend I went to a party where I would know one guest and the host. The rest were people that I didn’t know.
Let’s backtrack a little…
I used to be really outgoing and could make friends with literally anyone. And I really have the internet to thank for my socialization. (Which can seem like an oxymoron) But after high school and into college I could get along with just about anyone. Then I got into my only serious relationship, and with all the negativity that relationship brought (and he kept coming back into my life for years after the relationship was over and done with) my self confidence was shattered. I blame both myself and him. If I didn’t hear half the stuff that he told me and brought me down I wouldn’t have gone so low. I blame myself for allowing his words to affect me and I started to believe what he would say about me. Anyways, I’ve been building myself up after the last time I saw him. And now I have confidence in myself and if someone isn’t going to like me, that’s fine. It’s truly their loss.
So back to this party, at first the other people were wary of me. They were talking amongst themselves, and being somewhat of wanting to be included and slightly creeper, I listened in their conversation. Then I started to add tidbits to what they were saying. And then they realized I was listening to them and cared about what they were saying. After that, I was in. I got along with almost an entire group of strangers.
I can honestly say that after that night I was so proud of myself. I wouldn’t have been able to do such a thing two or even maybe a year ago. I just feel really good about myself and I feel like I’m in a really good place with myself. I don’t feel fragile. I feel strong, proud and confident. It’s a pretty awesome feeling.