One thing that is constant in my life is men. I have men in and out of my life. Whether it’s family members, friends, potential dating prospects, acquaintances. I’m going to focus, of course, on the dating dudes.
Those potential dating prospect men show so much interest in me. You can see the intrigue and wonderment in their eyes. They look at my face, they look at my body. There is usually lust. There is curiosity. Then I speak or put a sign that is only invisible to me on my forehead that makes me a friend. That light I would see dims and vanishes.
I don’t know if it’s the fact that I might be afraid and put a vibe that I’m not interested. It’s not a conscious move. Do you think that I want to be single for this damn long? There is fear within me. I’ve been in one serious relationship. I’m almost 30 and yes, one. Granted, I’ve dated guys and “went out” with them. But nothing like seeing a future with anyone. Part of me thinks I’ll never have what I had again. The other part doesn’t give a shit.
These particular guys either friend zone me, or they leave. And perhaps I need to get it out of my mind, because my first thought when starting the whole infatuation to dating stage of a relationship is “Which one are you gonna be”.