Mr. E

I know I’ve been aloof about a certain crush I’ve had. Well, we’re going to call him The Educator or Mr. E to protect him from what I’m going to say.

I met Mr. E online back in September. We chatted it up. He told me he moved from out of state and moved into my city due to a job. So we weren’t necessarily hitting it off. I had a what I like to think of it as a prophetic dream before the first time we met (it was scary) and called off meeting him the first time. Then the next time we decided to meet up was the day I put my cat down, in October. So I rescheduled the next day because I’m not a flaky individual.

Anyways we met and he was alright. We’ve been texting since then. We’ve met up several times to watch Die Hard and Star Wars, went on a couple brunches, and went out around the town. The conversation is usually really entertaining. And I knew I started to like him because I would get excited when he would text me.

I’ve never kissed this guy. Which is baffling. Mr. E isn’t bad on the eyes or anything I just didn’t know if he even liked me like that. And it was never discussed where we stand with each other. I’m a bit old fashioned in the dating thing, because I believe that the man should initiate. First off I find that extremely attractive being the alpha female. I like to know that the man can take charge. But it never has happened with Mr. E.

A side note as well, I’ve declared (unfortunately) that after my last relationship which ended in November 2014 that I would remain celibate until I was back in a monogamous and could see it being a serious relationship. I’ve done my fair share of sluttiness and I’m ready for something real.

So on New Years, I was bound and determined to get Mr. E at my house for at least a fucking kiss. And he ignored me. I broke off plans to hang out with friends because of this chance I could get with Mr. E. So New Years eve was spent at home, and fell asleep on my couch at 11:30pm waking up at 12:15am just to go back to bed. I was to say the least butt hurt. I’ve considered that I was dating this guy. But with dating that would mean you would actually have some physical interaction, which there has been none.

A couple days afterwards went by and he texted me asking my how 2016 has treated me so far. “Well you fucking asshole…” was my first thought but I was just pretty short with my responses “fine”. But he kept texting and trying to converse again. I’ve been mothafuckin friend zoned by this douchebag. So the only way I’ll find out how he feels and just get a 100% reading on him was to invite him over. I asked if he ever watched “Making a Murderer” (again, do it if you haven’t it’s so good!) because I wanted to watch it again. He was totally in. I gave him the times I was free and he said he wanted to come. Excited and nervous, I cleaned my house and got shit ready. Mr. E then told me that this weekend wasn’t good and Monday day would work. I then told him that I had to work so he would just have to see it on his own time. Mr. E was just making games out of this. And my feelings were hurt. That week he texted me to go to brunch with him. We agreed the place, the time at 11am on Sunday.

Sunday rolled around and I got to the place like 5 minutes early. I texted him if he was there. No reply. So I grabbed a seat. 11am rolled around, I was looking around and I ended up texting my friend where I was. She was disappointed in me because she thought I was done with him after the New Years thing. I didn’t mention the plans after to her because I knew who that would go over “He’s an asshole! DON’T DO IT!” but it’s my loins are saying “There might be chance… DO IT” then 11:05am rolled around, I was thinking that he lives close by and is just running a little late. 11:10am comes around. And it doesn’t seem like that much time, but if you are in a busy restaurant it feels like everyone is looking at you, pitying you that you are being stood up. I texted my friend saying if he doesn’t show up up at 11:15 I’m leaving. And she texts back “YOU’RE STILL THERE?!?!” I texted back “I’m doing it for a free meal at this point”. Mr. E texts me at 11:15 “I’m running there now” I am furious. I’m a very punctual person. I try to be on the dot on time if not a few minutes early. In this sort of situation, is one of my pet peeves and personal nightmare. 11:21am Mr. E graces me with his presence. He apologizes. I’m pissed. I feel so disrespected. So he starts talking and we have a conversation, and then it gets to his ex girlfriend and his ex wife that are both French. Cool? Oui. Oh, it gets real good. He asks me a question about watching Breaking Bad. I told him that I went to a local theatre and saw an episode. This local theatre was built in the 1920s and is really cool spot. Anyways, you know what Mr. E told me? “Oh yeah?! I went to see Die Hard at that theatre too” I shot him a look that probably physically hurt. “Oh yeah?! I was there…” He looked at me and started to get red. His brain was reaching for answers, for explanations, for an escape. “…” sheer panic “I’m so sorry I forgot I was with you”

What the fucking fuck is wrong with you?!?!?

We ended brunch and left. As I was leaving I yelled “Merci beaucoup!” Once I got home, I texted him thanks for the food. He texted me about other stuff in our conversation and I was just short and uninterested.

Last night he texted me a link to a youtube video. I haven’t responded and I honestly don’t think I ever will.


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