Las Vegas: VIVA! Day Three

Day three was my favorite morning. Most everyone was going to a breakfast buffet, and I didn’t want to go. (Side note: I hate buffets, I used to work at a place that had a lunch buffet, and it has ruined those for me) So I slept in and just laid in bed watching some TV and eating the other half of my $10 foot long Subway sandwich.

There were two of the girls waiting for a relative to arrive for the night, and they didn’t go to the buffet.  Since I was sluggin all morning, I asked what was going on with them. And they were hanging in their rooms I told them I would join them after I was finished getting showered and ready… and having a cocktail. It took me awhile to actually get up and around, again so nice, and then the buffet group wanted to go look at casinos.

I felt bad, but I bailed on the two girls because I’ve never been to Vegas. I’ve been to the airport and that’s it. I wanted to see it! So I joined buffet group to go look at the sights.  After going down the Street Dreams in Monte Carlo, passing Juan at the Big Chill (and yelling at him like a crazy person), we went to the tram. The tram takes you from the Monte Carlo to Aria to Bellagio. First stop was going to the the Bellagio and see the gardens.

On the way to the gardens inside the Bellagio, the smell is intoxicating. It smells like cooked meat, flowers and just sweetness. It was amazing. After you turned the corner there was this HUGE chocolate fountain. And being the fat kid I am, I wanted a picture. So much chocolate. So much I could eat. It was pretty magnificent

IMG_8290This picture doesn’t do it justice. FO REALS

We got to the Bellagio’s gardens, and it was stunning. The flowers and the arrangements were just breathtaking. The smell, like I said went from intoxicating to just flat out lovely. It was the smell of flowers and clean water. And coming from the places we’ve been and the fart palace at the strip entrance from Monte Carlo, it was quite a contrast of the smells we’ve been smelling in Las Vegas thus far.

Here are some beautiful garden pictures:IMG_8293IMG_8300IMG_8305I was baffled at the koi in the Ballagio and other casinos. They were so huge like small dog huge. My friends teased me ’cause I sounded like a 1950s little kid in awe of them “HOLY MACARONI!”

After the gardens, we decided to go to Caesar’s Palace next.  As walking out I saw this cutie. I’m pretty sure the Fu Dog was the protector of the rank smells of Las Vegas in the Bellagio. Seriously. And a side note, I want two fu dogs for my house, so anytime I see them, I gotta take a picture for good luck!IMG_8308

When we got to the Caesar’s Palace, a couple people gambled. I bought some freakin’ water. It was hot in Vegas. Not unbearable but it was getting warm. And water is not accessible unless it’s sink water. Which according to the waitress in The House of Blues, we should be taking antibiotics after drinking any tap water.

The mermaid statue was so beautiful and the fish tank was trippy. I watched the little sea horses. So cute!

We bumbled across the street to the Flamingo. Being super disappointed (and understanding) that the lions were no more at the MGM, we wanted to see some wildlife. Maybe the sun got to us, most likely the booze, we were going to find some damn flamingos.

Going through the casino we went to a courtyard area, and we found flamingos.

Yeah, they fake.

We eventually did find the real thing but it was anticlimactic. Half of the group was tired and hot and decided to head back “home”. So my bestie, her husband and myself decided to continue on. My bestie’s husband was a trooper. He was hungover and not feeling good, but he didn’t want to be a bummer or a let down. Poor guy.

We went to the Venetian. And that place is trippy. So cool but trippy! It’s like Disneyland. I had the same feeling I had when I went to New York New York. It was just perfect in how they made the inside look like make believe. Maybe it was me being in a drunken slur, but it was incredible. IMG_8313IMG_8314IMG_8316
My bestie!!!! ❤ ❤

We decided to head back to get some rest and some food before our fancy night out at Craftsteak at the MGM.

Once we got back, we were greeted with a text that someone in our group brought LSD, and decided to take some and went to the pool. All I knew is that I needed food and just to chill out, and my bestie decided to join. So we ate slices of pizza and were joined with another person from our group. We decided to go grab drinks at my hotel room. And honestly, that was one of the best moments of the trip. It was emotion and truth and just being so real. I love my girls. Afterwards we decided to go gamble.

Not realizing how drunk I was I started to haze people. Bestie was playing Blackjack and a group of guys joined us. Our dealer, Pam, had the most incredible puffy red hair. It was amazing. The guys kept losing and I would point it out. Pam would just be subtly sassy, which I totally love. And at one point, I told her that I loved her. She looked me dead in the eyes and said “You love too easily” then told me to cut the deck.

The cocktail waitress came up and gave us all drinks, and all I had left was a $20. I asked her if she could break it, and she couldn’t. So in my drunken haze, I told her to remember my face and bring me so many drinks. She cocked a smile and agreed.

Realizing that dinner was soon approaching, how cocktails in the room and gambling makes time fly by! I remember letting the cocktail waitress we were leaving but would be back. Circling my face with my finger, “Remember me…. I’m going to a fancy dinner and I’ll be back” and again smiled “Oh yes, I will remember you”

While getting ready, I had to protect the thunder thighs. All day I was wearing jeans, and I didn’t want to be walking around with the bare chub rub. So I got my pajama pants and rolled them up to make shorts. My thighs were protected and the pajama pants were A) comfortable as fuck and B) they were staying. So I grabbed my wedges and went to meet up with my bestie and her husband.

I was doing fine until we got out of the Monte Carlo to the brick pavement. I had Bambi legs. It’s like a brand new baby deer walking for the first time. Baffled I was telling my bestie and her husband, “These shoes I wore at your wedding and I danced in them all night. How could this be happening?” Then I totally ate shit on the Las Vegas strip. I would find out later that I scrapped my knew pretty good and I was a bleeder for a little bit. My besties husband was like “TAKE THEM OFF” and told me to walk bare foot. Usually this would disgust me and I would completely protest, but I knew he was right and I had to. I was that gross girl.

We got into the MGM, near Tom Colicchio’s Craftsteak and put my shoes back on.

Once we got everyone that was coming to dinner, we were seated. And it was an EXCELLENT dinner. And I’m not just saying that because I was intoxicated at the time. It was grand, rich and just absolutely fabulous.

I had the richest items available on the menu making my grand total for just myself be $200. Give me all the steak and all the lobster! But the steak I had there wasn’t anything I’ve ever eaten. I was having mouth orgasms all over the place. I was just baffled and just could eat everything there. SO GOOD.

IMG_8317“I’m getting a second wind!” -my bestie on the dessert course

When we were done with dinner, we realized Justin Beiber’s concert ended. And it was like the fish going downstream, you could really go only one way. So half of the group wanted to go to a night club, knowing that I had a day in the car, I wanted to get some sleep. So half went one way, the other half the other.

There was a point in time were I was standing in back of a girl in the MGM, while holding my shoes (yes, I’m still that gross girl), looking at her Justin Beiber shirt… and I have to be honest I was like “He’s not bad looking at all. I’d do him” that’s when I knew I had too much to drink and had to go home. Once we got outside I put my shoes on and the rich dinner really stabilized my legs. My theory is that I’ve been in such a drunken state this entire trip that I didn’t realize how intoxicated I was before going to dinner.

I thought I was going to get dressed down and go back gambling, and instead when we got to the Monte Carlo, I went upstairs and just went to fucking bed. David Copperfield’s face blaring through the window, I knew I was safe and sound at the moment. Just ready for the next day of travel.


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