People talk. Everyone has an opinion on anything and everything. I get that. My relationship is one of them. Your relationship is another. Everyone is constantly being judged, and being a social species, that’s never going to change.
The one thing that we need to change, in all aspects, is removing dishonesty and building trust.
Now in relationships, it’s super common to have access (like parental controls access) to phone, email, laptops, anything electronic with your significant other. Maybe I’m just naive, but this completely baffles me. Why does my boyfriend need my Facebook password? So he can see all the cat pictures I like? I’m not doing anything wrong, and to be honest, that is an invasion of privacy in my opinion. Luckily, my boyfriend doesn’t ask for anything like that and I’ve been straight up with him that he will never get any of that information. It’s none of his business and I’m my own individual. I don’t ask for his social media passwords. Because I TRUST HIM.
How exhausting to figure out what your other half is doing. It becomes like a second or third job. I had a coworker try to tell me a story where she found out her husband was cheating on her by checking his social media and Google account. And granted, I’m glad she found out, but she still stayed with him. So it’s becoming a game? I don’t understand how you could be in a relationship where you feel like that has to be an option. Why not separate? Why do you keep yourself in that kind of prison? A prison that you put yourself in. A sick game where you are constantly the loser because you’ll never leave.
Recent events, with talking to friends brought this to my attention, but this action of helicoptering your significant is not new.
And I think it’s the fear of the unknown when you separate. It’s the fear that your life will never be the same. Yeah you might be comfortable, but you are not respecting yourself. But at the same time, is your life worth tracking your other half when they aren’t with you like you are tracking a Domino’s pizza?
Being single is hard. But being in a relationship is also hard. No matter what path you take, it’s going to be difficult. You just have to remember, you are the hero of your story. This is your life. You deserve happiness. And sometimes you just have to step outside of yourself and your situation and look at your life in a different perspective.
Is this worth it?
I know with my relationship I’ve reach some emotional bumps in the road where I don’t feel liked or wanted, and I have to ask myself is it worth it? Once I figured out my answer (which to be honest was no, it’s not worth it), I went to my boyfriend and talked about it. Letting him know how I’m feeling and what’s going on with me, and asking where he was emotionally at that time. Once we were on the same page, he actually was attentive to what I was saying and (keyword) CHANGED it. It’s not all talk. There must be action.
It’s all about communication. Communication and trust. And I think if you don’t have those, the relationship isn’t worth it. And that’s any relationship… friendship, work, and romantic.